Memory-
I
often look at memory as though it was a distant past only summoned up again in
dreams and long conversations with family or old friends. As though memory is
an ancient concept. Other times I look at memory and think about those who
excel in taking social studies tests. Memory has always seemed to me something
that is reflected in the ways in which we look at the World. For example,
Christine’s father was a war survivor, those experiences and those memories
would inform the way that he raises his children, namely our protagonist. “My
own Parents lost siblings during the Korean war…and my father was preparing us
for an event, however unlikely, for which he was unready. And so my brother and
I were raised to survive wars” (Hyung-Oak Lee 161). As in we look to Memory in
order to place feelings on what is front of us now. And I think of things that
I do because of memories that were lessons to me. Like the decision not to die
my hair again because the first time I did it, I remember my hair being dry and
some of the tips falling off. And then to always remember to moisturize my hair
so that wouldn’t happen ever again.
This
is something the stroke takes away from Christine. As her memory mostly comes
in and out in ways she is unprepared for as she navigates suffering through her
stroke and then recovery. Christine loses the ability to do much of which came
natural to her before “I memorized the credit card numbers of men who bought me
drinks at bars” (Hyung-Oak Lee 43). Losing the function of memory was something
that took her away from her studies. So without the power of memory, Christine
has become a new person, mourning the person she used to be and can no longer
be, after the stroke. And in the same way, I would imagine anyone would be
forced to become new again, thrown into a beginning that starts way after
birth.
The
author scientifically breaks down the function of memory in the brain, talking
about the difference between short term and long term memory and how after losing the function of those things, it would become difficult to be emotionally intelligent. There is the explicit memory that talks about what has
happened recently, and there is implicit memory which deals more in informing
situations into emotions previously felt. I have the understanding that memories
are like signals in the brain that operate to inform us on how to deal with a
given situation. Memories are vital in assessing a new situation. And I believe
this is the intersection where we find our author Christine, gasping for
metaphorical air because she cannot remember the important things to her let
alone a less complex phrase her neurologist tried to get her to remember to
help her with her memory “I did not remember. I would not remember for months.
And only then because I’d written them down. And because Adam remembered.
Apple. Table. Penny. I used to have an excellent memory.” (Hyung-Oak Lee 43). I believe what caused the stroke are the memories that contained suppression.
That often times those memories are the traumatic ones that have a way of
punching you from inside your mouth if you don’t ever speak them or give them
energy to heal. When Christine’s memory was taken away, she lost some of her
emotional depth as well, often resorting to yelling and crying “I cried all the
time, I barely recognized myself. I could not deflect and protect myself from
any of life’s wounds” (Hyung-Oak Lee 107). It seems like this was a reaction to
all that she wanted to yell and cry about before in her life.
By
the end of the book, Christine can salvage a semblance of herself without ever
being sure that she is one hundred percent back to who she used to be. I think
in this way; the poignancy of memory can also be haunting. Memory was a cornerstone
concept that helped Christine navigate through her recovery process, and memory
is something that informs all of our daily lives. So I wonder if she was able
to become a more efficient writer after being given the chance to forget and
start with a cleaner slate.
- Duane Horton
- Duane Horton
I like your focus on the importance of our implicit memory in informing how we respond to events in the now -- I hadn't really thought of it like that, but it's so true. Although I don't think Christine specifically verbalized that her loss of memory was directly related to her inability to react effectively to current events, it's clearly true. And although this could be freeing -- giving her a clean slate -- recreating her world view certainly will take time. Also, I hadn't really thought of the importance of historical memory, that memory inhabits our families' histories, until reading your post.
ReplyDeleteYour post makes me re-question what the purpose of memory really is. You say, "I have the understanding that memories are like signals in the brain that operate to inform us on how to deal with a given situation." I agree. But memories do not always serve us well, as you point out with the example of Christine's rigid upbringing, being "raised to survive wars." How many times is trauma passed from parent to child? Or do our memories of happier times in our lives, instead of inspiring us to get through difficult moments, make us despair at what we've lost? There seem to be a lot of side effects to the organ we often claim as the thing that makes us human, the brain. Or if it is the mind, not the brain, what is the mind, really? The author defines the mind as a narrator of sorts. How interesting that we tend to see this duality between the physical, neural brain and that other thing, that higher thing, the abstract concept of mind. We only see an arm, a foot, a finger. Our fingers store memories, as Christine shows us, but do they also have some higher self?
ReplyDelete--Gina
Duane,
ReplyDeletegood post and does some exploration of implicit and explicit memory. The signals, I guess, come in different ways, like, I wonder, what about intuition. The brain is baffling
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