Memory-
I often look at memory as though it was a distant past only summoned up again in dreams and long conversations with family or old friends. As though memory is an ancient concept. Other times I look at memory and think about those who excel in taking social studies tests. Memory has always seemed to me something that is reflected in the ways in which we look at the World. For example, Christine’s father was a war survivor, those experiences and those memories would inform the way that he raises his children, namely our protagonist. “My own Parents lost siblings during the Korean war…and my father was preparing us for an event, however unlikely, for which he was unready. And so my brother and I were raised to survive wars” (Hyung-Oak Lee 161). As in we look to Memory in order to place feelings on what is front of us now. And I think of things that I do because of memories that were lessons to me. Like the decision not to die my hair again because the first time I did it, I remember my hair being dry and some of the tips falling off. And then to always remember to moisturize my hair so that wouldn’t happen ever again.
This is something the stroke takes away from Christine. As her memory mostly comes in and out in ways she is unprepared for as she navigates suffering through her stroke and then recovery. Christine loses the ability to do much of which came natural to her before “I memorized the credit card numbers of men who bought me drinks at bars” (Hyung-Oak Lee 43). Losing the function of memory was something that took her away from her studies. So without the power of memory, Christine has become a new person, mourning the person she used to be and can no longer be, after the stroke. And in the same way, I would imagine anyone would be forced to become new again, thrown into a beginning that starts way after birth.
The author scientifically breaks down the function of memory in the brain, talking about the difference between short term and long term memory and how after losing the function of those things, it would become difficult to be emotionally intelligent. There is the explicit memory that talks about what has happened recently, and there is implicit memory which deals more in informing situations into emotions previously felt. I have the understanding that memories are like signals in the brain that operate to inform us on how to deal with a given situation. Memories are vital in assessing a new situation. And I believe this is the intersection where we find our author Christine, gasping for metaphorical air because she cannot remember the important things to her let alone a less complex phrase her neurologist tried to get her to remember to help her with her memory “I did not remember. I would not remember for months. And only then because I’d written them down. And because Adam remembered. Apple. Table. Penny. I used to have an excellent memory.” (Hyung-Oak Lee 43). I believe what caused the stroke are the memories that contained suppression. That often times those memories are the traumatic ones that have a way of punching you from inside your mouth if you don’t ever speak them or give them energy to heal. When Christine’s memory was taken away, she lost some of her emotional depth as well, often resorting to yelling and crying “I cried all the time, I barely recognized myself. I could not deflect and protect myself from any of life’s wounds” (Hyung-Oak Lee 107). It seems like this was a reaction to all that she wanted to yell and cry about before in her life.
By the end of the book, Christine can salvage a semblance of herself without ever being sure that she is one hundred percent back to who she used to be. I think in this way; the poignancy of memory can also be haunting. Memory was a cornerstone concept that helped Christine navigate through her recovery process, and memory is something that informs all of our daily lives. So I wonder if she was able to become a more efficient writer after being given the chance to forget and start with a cleaner slate.

- Duane Horton



Comments

  1. I like your focus on the importance of our implicit memory in informing how we respond to events in the now -- I hadn't really thought of it like that, but it's so true. Although I don't think Christine specifically verbalized that her loss of memory was directly related to her inability to react effectively to current events, it's clearly true. And although this could be freeing -- giving her a clean slate -- recreating her world view certainly will take time. Also, I hadn't really thought of the importance of historical memory, that memory inhabits our families' histories, until reading your post.

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  2. Your post makes me re-question what the purpose of memory really is. You say, "I have the understanding that memories are like signals in the brain that operate to inform us on how to deal with a given situation." I agree. But memories do not always serve us well, as you point out with the example of Christine's rigid upbringing, being "raised to survive wars." How many times is trauma passed from parent to child? Or do our memories of happier times in our lives, instead of inspiring us to get through difficult moments, make us despair at what we've lost? There seem to be a lot of side effects to the organ we often claim as the thing that makes us human, the brain. Or if it is the mind, not the brain, what is the mind, really? The author defines the mind as a narrator of sorts. How interesting that we tend to see this duality between the physical, neural brain and that other thing, that higher thing, the abstract concept of mind. We only see an arm, a foot, a finger. Our fingers store memories, as Christine shows us, but do they also have some higher self?

    --Gina

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  3. Duane,
    good post and does some exploration of implicit and explicit memory. The signals, I guess, come in different ways, like, I wonder, what about intuition. The brain is baffling
    e

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