"Sexy" by Jhumpa Lahiri

I was really fascinated by "Sexy."  That story stuck with me because it surprised me, and I'm still not sure I entirely understand it.  I was surprised by how Miranda ended the affair with Dev.  It seemed like an out of character amount of growth that took place in the story, and it also seemed out of pattern with the other types of narratives about affairs focusing on "the other woman" that I've read.  I was thinking at first that Lahiri was humanizing what I am going to call mistresses for the rest of this blog post, which would seem to condone them slightly.  However, on further reflection I don't think that's what Lahiri did.  The relationship between Dev and Miranda was always about power.  At the beginning, Dev had all the power.  When Miranda grew as a character, she gained some of the power back by having the moral high ground.  Lahiri really managed to portray a sordid story of an affair by showing how no one wins.  She managed to show all the different sides in the relationship by showing Laxmi's cousin and her cousin's son, Dev, and Miranda.  None of them seem happy, showing how far the unhappy marriages reach, beyond the scope of the two people involved.  I was still slightly confused about the presence of Laximi's cousin in the narrative.  It seemed an odd choice to have her there as an external conscience for Miranda.  At first I wondered if she was Dev's wife.  I wasn't sure what the purpose was of showing another unhappy marriage that had a similar problem to the first.  I'd like to hear everyone's thoughts on them.  They did seem to function to show another possible outcome for Dev and Miranda, where Dev leaves his wife for Miranda.  Yet, that never seemed to be on the table for consideration by Dev or Miranda, so otherwise then I'm not sure why that would be the function.  Really I would love to hear everyone else's thoughts. 

Comments

  1. AnonymousNovember 7, 2017 at 12:38 PM

    I like how you mentioned that no one really won in this affair, it wasn't empowering to either Dev or Miranda. I did find the end of the affair fairly realistic, it just petered-out. This isn't dramatic, but no one is going to go out of their way to keep something like this going.
    I thought Laxmi and her cousin's presence in the book served to show Miranda the kind of hurt she could be contributing to. I don't think this story is specifically about that, so the author kept it separate from Miranda's story. Miranda's story was more about gaining self respect and the importance of a meaningful relationship. Rohin gave Miranda perspective, but mainly made her see how much Dev didn't love her. It think it would have been too tidy and overly morally judgmental if Miranda had an affair with Laxmi's husband. This story shows many sides of what an affair can do, and none of them have an "answer" which is what a reader is usually craving.

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  2. AnonymousNovember 7, 2017 at 5:27 PM

    I like what you say about how Dev and Miranda's relationship was always about power, because I think that this is no only relevant in terms of gender - Miranda being a younger woman and Dev being an older man cheating on his wife - but also in terms of race. Miranda is slow to understanding how race and ethnicity function in the United States, not even knowing that Bengal is a country. The parallel story is about Laximi's cousin's cheating on her with an English woman, just as Dev is cheating on his wife with a white woman. When Miranda tries to interact with Dev's culture, she does so clumsily, trying to learn Bengali and awkwardly entering the Indian store. This tension is further emphasized by the fact that Miranda participated in making fun of the Indian family in her hometown. I thought that the racial power dynamic between Miranda and Dev, and even between Miranda and Dev's wife, was really interesting in this story.

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  3. AnonymousNovember 7, 2017 at 8:05 PM

    Hi Anna,

    Your post really got me to thinking about the relationship dynamics between Miranda and Dev, and what connection it had (if any) to the ruined marriage between Laxmi’s cousin and her husband. I think it was probably important (at least from a plot standpoint) for Miranda to have a parallel example of some sort, functioning as a guide for the potential outcome of her affair. The family aspect, the impact that these affairs have on children, really brought home the fact that in order for these extra-marital relationships to thrive, others have to suffer.

    This isn’t always the case of course, but when the internal dynamics of a marriage have shifted to the point where one party feels the need to search elsewhere for an emotional and physical connection, then suffering has already entered the picture. Relief is sought after, and even when those connections are made, there are still consequences. I think this may have been one of the main reasons why Laxmi’s cousin and her son Rohin came into the picture – Miranda is already questioning her relationship with Dev when they arrive, and her personal interaction with Rohin really allows her to feel the emotional consequences of betrayal and infidelity.

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