Lady Problems in Nigerian-Nordic Girls Guide to Lady Problems

Adiele’s title fits her story perfectly because she discusses her “lady problems” through the lense of being Nigerian-Nordic.  She uses her lady problems to investigate her heritage.  There is a sense of the lady problems being tied to family because it is so closely related to her own ability to have a family.  Therefore it does make sense that as she copes with her lady problems she investigates what it means to be Nigerian in America and what it means to be Nordic in America, and, eventually, what it means to be both.  

I really appreciated that she chose “lady problems” for her title, because I was raised in a household where “uterus” is considered a dirty word.  When I was having any form of “lady problems,” regardless of how old I was, I was expected to solve it on my own without discussing it with anyone.  I think there is something about the female body where we are not supposed to discuss it a way that doesn’t apply to male bodies.  My father and his friends would constantly talk about their various ailments, but my mother and her friends always discuss polite topics like books and movies.  The title of this book reflects this idea that this is something that makes most people inherently uncomfortable, because it isn’t called “The Nigerian-Nordic Girl’s Guide to Fibroids” because fibroids are private and off putting.  It’s lady problems because that’ll warn away the people it needs to warn away before speaking about lady problems without putting them off too much.  I also think it’s interesting that I’ve never otherwise read a book that really discussed being in the female body like this.  Occasionally I’ve read books that discuss pregnancy, but usually not sitting in the body like this book did, and never when not discussing something like pregnancy, which is a safer female subject.  Most characters never get cramps or fibroids.  There was something liberating about a book that spoke freely about that while staying so close to the body and the experience of living that.

I think I was particularly drawn in in this story during the portion where the doctors kept telling her she was fine, despite what her body was feeling, and then finally when she told them she wasn’t fine they advised an immediate hysterectomy.  That felt very close to me and some of my experiences with the medical community.  It can be so hard to get doctor’s to understand that your pain is important, even if they don’t see blood and even if they don’t see a clear cause of what’s causing it or what should be done about it.  But the fact that the doctor’s mandated it to her was simply unacceptable.  The story really triggered an emotional response in me, I was shaking with rage when I read that the doctor’s felt entitled to tell her, not to advise her, but to tell her to get a hysterectomy, which is a drastic, life changing surgery.  The doctor even had the audacity to try to schedule an appointment, like she wouldn’t need to think about it!  It was like the story was back in the 1800s when hysterectomies were common treatment for a woman who doesn’t behave, who is hysterical.  It was like they wanted to punish Adiele for not behaving and being a compliant patient who learns all of her medical information from her doctor, follows all of the advice, and takes the doctor’s word as gospel without complaint.