Sorry to Disrupt the Peace

The idea to keep in mind when reading Sorry to Disrupt the Peace by Patty Yumi Cottrell was “senses in the foreground”. The most prominent sense that I noticed being frequently used throughout the novel was the sense of smell.

“The insides of my nose started to burn because even though I was approximately nine hundred miles away from my adoptive brother’s closet in suburban Milwaukee, situated as I was upright with my hands on the boxes in my shared studio apartment in Manhattan, somehow the smell of the closet in Milwaukee wafted up through my nostrils and got stuck inside my nasal cavities and caused the passages to burn. I recognized that burning, that sulfurous stench as the singular property of the closet: dead-animal odor”(p. 14).

This was the first of many incredibly visceral descriptions of odor. Yet, there was so much else going on in the novel, I couldn’t simply focus on the sensory descriptions. Most notable was the author’s development of the narrator and main character, Helen. An intensely quirky character, Helen has many interesting habits. She has rigid titles for things: “My adoptive parents” are never just my parents, “my roommate Julie” is never just Julie, and “my shared studio apartment” is never just my apartment. She also has unique descriptions of things. In the first chapter alone, she describes Uncle Geoff’s voice as “a voice that swallowed up countless scrolls of sandpaper and parchment”(p.8) and her movement as “the speed of caves and mountains”(p.11). While these descriptions make sense, in theory, they are far from commonly used, thus, adding to the unique composition that is Helen’s character.

The most deeply developed aspect of Helen’s character is certainly her complex self-esteem. Her first at length description of herself goes as such, “I was a thirty-two-year-old woman, single, childless, irregularly menstruating, college-educated, and partially employed. If I looked in the mirror, I saw something upright and plain. Or perhaps hunched over and plain, it depended. Long, long ago I made peace with my plainness”(p. 17). Indeed, this is not how one would typically describe oneself, but more to the point, it is not a very gracious portrayal of herself. Yet, on the very next page she goes on to say, “Over time, I became a genius at being ethical, I discovered that it was my true calling. […] I cultivated my talent and genius […] I was born a shabby little baby, but after a long and unremarkable time, I became a virtuous woman, I transformed myself into something good”(p. 18). She holds all of her self-worth in her ability to be ethical and helpful. At many points throughout the novel the talks about her “talents” but she is easily discouraged when people do not notice her or her talents.

“I have always been a great dispenser of advice and was surprised more people didn’t consult me or seek me out. Why was I always seeking others out and no one comes to look for me anymore?”(p.127)

Despite being frequently overlooked by others – “No one cared” (p.71), “no one heard me”(p.72) – the biggest contributors, by far, to Helen’s horrid self-esteem are her adoptive parents. “Be a better daughter, Helen. I heard my adoptive father’s voice over and over in my head”(p.60). This feeling of inferiority is only heightened further when her parents praise Chad Lambo instead.

The only saving grace in her family is actually her adoptive brother, who does make her feel appreciated. Even after he is gone and all he left is the note on his computer, he still manages to bolster Helen’s self-esteem.

“I kept searching for the parts where he wrote my name, Helen. I touched my name and made it shimmer. It was so reassuring to read Helen this or Helen that. I exist. In someone else’s world, I exist”(pg.246).

Other than character development, another one of the author's skills is the subtle distribution of hints as to why Helen's adoptive brother committed suicide. The first major hint didn't come until page 87 when the found the suspicious insurance bill. After that, clues were sprinkled in between the other going-ons of the book until finally, in all comes together as we read the his final letter. It was a satisfying ending. I wholeheartedly expected to be left with no concrete answers, but was pleasantly surprised. Helen also seemed to be satisfied in the end.

-Erin